OUR BAND COULD BE YOUR WIFE #12 - Resolutions and Recommended Reading
In which I set some intentions for the new year and share my 2024 music blog reading list
Welcome back! As you know, this is a newsletter that’s mostly about music. This installment, however, is mostly not about music. The first part is about New Year’s resolutions.
I used to say that I “didn’t do” New Year’s resolutions. I hated them (and still kind of hate them) for all the reasons that most people who hate New Year’s resolutions hate them. Statistically speaking, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you boarded a plane and the pilot got on the microphone and bragged about landing 1 in every 10 planes he flew, you would get off the fucking plane. And besides, shouldn’t we always be trying to improve ourselves and our habits? Shouldn’t bettering ourselves be an ongoing process of consistently making incremental changes to improve our lives and the lives of others? Well yeah, but that’s boring. There’s something alluring about a shiny mile marker, an arbitrary chance to TURN IT ALL AROUND FOR REAL THIS TIME.
So, despite my own cynicism I am giving myself over to the ceremonial aspect of it all and choosing to believe in something that I’m not entirely convinced of. Which has sort of been the pathway to my own belief in anything at all, that maybe I have the power to will something into existence by allowing my own doubts to coexist with the idea that believing in something is a more interesting prospect than believing in nothing, and that skeptical, cautious belief can itself be a form of manifestation. I’d better stop myself before I get too epistemological in a blog post about how I want to work out more and become a better cook.
I felt like it was good to start with the resolutions that involve sticking with good habits that I already have. For example, I started using a planner at the beginning of last year, which has helped with my ADHD and executive dysfunction more than maybe anything else I’ve ever tried, so one of my resolutions is to keep using one. Mine is a simple, unfussy At-A-Glance planner that’s set up week by week, with a column for each day, each column broken down by hour, each hour broken down into 15-minute segments. I like using erasable pens to write in it. Pencil feels too noncommittal, but I also like to factor in potential scheduling changes, so the erasable pen is a good middle ground.
Another thing I started doing last year: I tried to get back into journaling by doing morning pages. There are many methods for this, but the main point of it is to write first thing in the morning. My personal guideline is ten sentences a day– they don’t have to be good, they just have to be on the page. And yes, I’m allowed to set another alarm and go back to sleep for a few minutes after I’ve done them. It’s been helpful to do a brain dump each morning when my thoughts are still fresh, plus there’s the added bonuses of being able to document my dreams before I forget them and of having the first thing I look at each morning not be my phone. Granted, I sort of fell out of this habit while I was traveling for the holidays, but it’s a practice I want to bring with me into the new year.
Here are some other resolutions (this is me holding myself accountable while also trying to be realistic):
Go to the gym at least twice a week, and try to do it not for vanity purposes, but to channel all my nervous energy into something that makes me feel more focused and grounded, and because I’m happier and more confident when I’ve spent an hour or two sweating on the elliptical while mainlining brash, upbeat girl rap into my eardrums.
The driver’s permit that I got when I was eighteen is super expired and also not applicable to the state I’m currently living in. Retake the permit test and maybe take a couple driving lessons, maybe even get my license? Even though I don’t ever plan on owning a car, it’s a good skill to have and I’m 25 years old. Driving will only get less terrifying the more I do it, I hope.
See a dentist and an eye doctor for the first time in I wanna say two years??? (reward self for the second one with new glasses)
Cut down on/be more intentional with my screentime instead of just mindlessly scrolling.
Spend less money on frivolous shit.
Visit Chicago again
Go on another roadtrip with my boyfriend
Get more comfortable having my picture taken/hearing my speaking voice recorded.
Pickle more vegetables
Make more soups
Listen to at least three new albums a week. “New” doesn’t necessarily mean new releases (though I imagine it often will), it just means that it’s new to me.
Get more bylines
Get more rejections
Publish at least two newsletters a month
Finish a draft of my essay collection
Recommended Reading:
Two of my favorite music writers, Molly O’Brien and Miranda Reinert, shared lists of some of their favorite music blogs/newsletters recently. I was beyond flattered that they included Our Band Could Be Your Wife on their lists, and would in turn like to recommend a few of my favorites. There’s going to be a lot of crossover between my list and both of theirs’– what can I say, they both have great taste.
Being a freelance writer during a time where a new publication folds seemingly every week (or is acquired and usually royally screwed over by some big corporation that doesn’t give a shit about their contributors or their readers) can be really disheartening, but there is some consolation in seeing people make cool shit on their own terms. Some of these writers have introduced me to some of my favorite bands, some have given me feedback on my work, some have made me rediscover what I love about writing during times where it felt like pulling teeth. One of the best parts of being a music writer and someone who reads a lot of music writing is having such a great community of fellow music writers doing really inspiring and innovative work.
In no particular order:
I was an embarrassingly big fan of Miranda Reinert’s Step One Of A Plan before we became friends. She’s got a handful of essays that I find myself returning to when I want to remind myself why I write about music. She also co-hosts the music-and-internet podcast Endless Scroll.
A lot of people post their Last.fm grids on Fridays, but Eli Enis does full breakdowns of his, as well as great concert reviews and trend pieces. He also co-hosts Endless Scroll, as well as Violent Treatment, a podcast about hardcore with Hugo Reyes.
Hugo Reyes is an archivist and local music historian as much as he is an incredible writer, documenting the past and present of DIY, punk, and emo scenes in Chicago on his two blogs. He also co-hosts Violent Treatment with Eli Enis.
Jay Papandreas’s blog Listen Up Nerds not only has one of the most prescient titles on the internet but is also extremely smart and funny. Lots of good playlists, essays, and interviews. In addition to music writing he’s also been known to chime in on topics like fashion and basketball and his cat, Hank.
Luke O’Neil’s Welcome To Hell World is not a music blog, but his writing on current events is so engaging and important, really we should all be reading Hell World. For music-specific stuff though, I’ve been loving the 5 Songs Series, in which he picks an artist and invites a group of guest writers to contribute a roundtable rundown of each of their personal top 5 songs from said artist. This series has included The Cure, R.E.M., Elliott Smith, and Weezer, and for the most recent installment, Luke was generous enough to let me write about my 5 favorite songs by Jason Molina.
Cities: Backlines combines Devon Chodzin’s work as a city planner and a music writer in such cool and unexpected ways. His work is always so thoughtful and relevant, especially these two essays, about the broader socioeconomic and cultural implications of a city’s local scene.
When I say Elise Soutar is one of the coolest people I’ve met all year I don’t mean it in a snooty, New York art scene, “you can’t sit at the cool table with us” kind of way, but in a way that can only hope to convey the breadth of knowledge, cultural savvy, and magnetic personality imbued in everything she writes. Her newsletter, things are getting kinda gross is great for longform essays and deep dives that weave together music history and personal history. Her retrospective on Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Fever To Tell made me openly cry on the 1 train at 11am.
I first discovered Eliza McLamb through her podcast, Binchtopia, which is hilarious and informative and makes me feel like I’m having the time of my life hanging out with Eliza and her co-host Julia Hava. From there I found her music (FFO: Greg Mendez, illuminati hotties, Sidney Gish, any of the Boygeniuses but especially Phoebe Bridgers) and then her newsletter where she writes about music, pop culture, and life in general. (These two essays about music fandom in the age of TikTok are some of my favorites).
Molly O’Brien’s blog I Enjoy Music is leading the charge on the 2020s music blogging renaissance. I would recommend starting with the series she just did where readers sent in their favorite songs of 2023 and she listened to and reviewed them all)
Patrick Lyons of Inbox Infinity is the model for the kind of omnivorous and active music-listener and writer I would like to be, in addition to being super funny and insightful.
When I spent last summer in Chicago, Josh Terry’s No Expectations became one of my unofficial guides to the city. His gig reports, interviews, playlists, and musings on the state of music criticism are always a delight.
Larry Fitzmaurice’s Last Donut of the Night is one of my favorite places to go for independent music criticism, whether he’s covering one of the biggest pop stars on the planet or the best band you’ve never heard of.
Joshua Minsoo Kim rocks and so does his music/culture blog, Tone Glow. It’s introduced me to so much great music that I wouldn’t have found otherwise. He’s also got great interviews. I especially love this one with Katie Dey, done by guest writer H.D. Angel.
I’m a big fan of No Bells, a blog run by Mano Sundaresan covering the “internet underground.” The No Bells 2023 List of Lists was by far my favorite of this list season and maybe any list season ever.
Jordy Walsh kind of does everything– reviews, concert coverage, zines, poems. Very thoughtful, personal stuff that makes me think so much about the act of writing itself. I Keep A Diary is the best place to keep up with it all.
Niko Stratis reminds me why music writing is so important and powerful and worth preserving. The way she blends music criticism and personal narrative is so skillful and her newsletter Anxiety Shark regularly knocks the air right out of my lungs, and her Paste column and her podcast, Blue Eyes Crying By The Chips are both just as brilliant.
Whenever I discover a criminally underrated band that makes me ask “Why is nobody talking about them?” someone usually is, and it’s usually Rosy Overdrive. An incredible haven for DIY artists of all stripes.
I am not at all biased when I say that Swim Into The Sound is one of the best music blogs on God’s Green Internet. Okay, maybe I am a little bit, considering the fact that it’s run by my lovely partner, Taylor Grimes. (Blogs: the last bastion of independent music journalism, and the only decent dating app?) All jokes aside, Taylor has built something truly special and unique, and it’s incredible to see how his passion project has grown over the years into a thriving home for DIY music, now with an incredible team of guest writers. I couldn’t be more proud.
Matty Monroe’s Obscurity Knocks is a great companion to his radio show of the same name. In addition to highlighting the best tracks of each week, he’ll post the occasional album review, essay, or deep dive. He also hosts the Indieheads Podcast, a podcast about indie music (but also about The Big Bopper, Smokey Robinson, and Dave Grohl).
Hope You Like It is a fun one– Andy and Patrick recommend music to their readers and each other, making for lots of cool new discoveries and a great rapport between two quasi-penpals. It’s refreshing to see music criticism that plays with form in such an innovative yet accessible way.
Joyce Schecter’s writing always manages to be instinctive while refined, meandering while sharply inquisitive, disciplined while not taking itself too seriously. Great personal/cultural niche essays, always a pleasure to read.
Not a blog or newsletter per se, but I gotta shout out Jenna Caruso’s radio show, How I’m Feeling Now. Last semester, my schedule worked out so that my school/work week was done by 4pm on Thursdays, just in time to kick off the weekend with two hours of kick-ass college radio. Great tunes, great banter, all-around great time.
I’m probably missing some from this list, so feel free to recommend any music (or music-adjacent) writers/blogs/newsletters that you love, I’m always on the hunt for new ones.
Huge +1s for both Rosy Overdrive and No Expectations. Worth noting that both writers are also incredibly helpful to other writers and just cool people. That’s not always the case in the online writing world.
Other ones I’d suggest (all are on Substack):
-Mallie Hart's Mallie's Eclectic Playlist
-Katie Wojciechowski's Good And Good For You
Matt Berenson’s Newsletter For Music Obsessives
SW Lauden’s Remember The Lightning (great resource for guitar/power pop)
Robert Gilbert’s Listening Sessions (to me, his articles all feel like something I’d read in NYT magazine).
Kiley Larsen’s Check This Out!
Marshall Bowden’s New Directions In Music
That’s just a couple off of the top my head. There are tons more of anyone is interested!
some great recommended readings here. thx.